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What my ADHD son wants to tell his teacher...

Please don’t write me off because it looks like I am not listening. I have ADHD and sitting/standing still while you are talking is torture for me. So while I may move around or appear to not be listening, I am listening to every word that you are saying but moving keeps me calm and centered.

Please don’t think that I am stupid or lazy because when you tell me to do something I don’t get started straight away like my peer group. My working memory deficit makes it hard for me to create a picture in my mind as to what the final product looks like and where to begin. Could you rather assist me in helping me plan backwards, or give me a sentence starter, or help me develop a plan. My brain works differently and I just need some help in getting it all connected.

Please don’t assume that because I look like everyone else that my ADHD is not real or simply an excuse that I use. I wish you knew how hard things were for me. How much I struggle to control my emotional outbursts. How embarrassing it is to just blurt things out? How hard it is when you know what you want to say but you can’t find the words. How hard it is to sit in class and have no idea what the next step is and feel that you are stupid, not enough? Could you rather see the good in me and look at me with compassion rather than frustration?

Please do not punish me by making me stay in during recess or taking away gym. I desperately need to exercise and burn off all the excess energy that I have inside me. Sitting in one spot is torture for me. I am not purposely handing in incomplete work or taking longer than anyone else in the class, I truly am trying my best, but I need more help. Could you rather give me 10 instead of 15 questions and let me demonstrate my knowledge?

Please don’t send me home with all the work that I did not complete as a punishment. Please rather accept that I am doing my best and that all this extra homework leaves me feeling frustrated, feeling like a failure, and makes me hate school.

Please don’t humiliate me by saying things like ...start paying attention or why didn’t you write that down, or did you not hear me say that. Those words make me feel like a failure. rather when you see me losing focus in the classroom please can we have a signal that tells me to focus or can you provide me with a checklist, notes so I can read what I need to do, listening is not always easy for me. I have ADHD. I was born with this neurological condition, I did not choose to be like this. I know having a child with ADHD in your classroom makes things difficult. I know that sometimes I am challenging.

But please know that I am a good kid, who is doing the best that I can. I want to be successful. I want to do well in school. ADHD makes my life a lot harder but I am willing to learn ways to make it better. From My Son who is tired of teachers not seeing his light but just the problem child.

Reprinted with permission ...From the Diary of Allison Solomon -Momma to three boys all with ADHD, ADHD parent coach and fearless leader of the Mom Matrix the best FB parenting group for momma’s with teens with ADHD.

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